Being Half Black, Half White in Lexington

NOTE: this piece is part of a series featuring black writers & artists for Black History Month.

My name is Camryn Wedgwood. I’m sharing a story that highlights and hopefully gives a small insight into the experiences of being two different races in the town of Lexington. I hope to give people a new perspective on certain social issues and how I’ve slowly learned how to be proud of myself.

Being half Caucasian and half African-American, I’ve learned a lot from the different situations and milestones I have come to face in my life. Like many other little girls, I loved playing with Barbies and dolls with long, beautiful hair. However, I had a light brown, tightly curled, almost literal Afro until I was in about third grade. I was always jealous of other girls who had perfect long hair. None of my friends had the same type of hair as me, and I always wondered why.

Living in this town, I’d always wondered why my mother had long blonde hair and light skin while my twin sister and I were brown girls with darker skin. I saw kids who looked just like their parents, while everyone would always comment that I looked nothing like either of mine.

Because of this, I’ve always had a little part of me that felt like I was an outcast. I never really had a specific group of friends, or a certain set of people I’d go to hang out with at recess or lunch. I always found myself hanging out with anyone who was willing to hang out with me.

I never really put it together that I was a mix of two different races until fifth grade. As a self-conscious person, I would beat myself up trying to nail down why no one wanted to be friends with me. Is it because I look different? Is it because none of them are the same as me? Or maybe because my parents look nothing like me? I never got a straight answer to these questions. I figured out on my own what my identity was. It was never really spoken about or taught in school, which might be a factor for my confusion. Growing up, every morning before my sister and I would go to school, our hair was a constant messy and knotted mess, so my mom would always spray, brush, and condition it for us before we left the house because she cared so much about making it look nice.

There is still a lack of of acceptance and representation in society. When my sister and I played with Barbies as kids, we wouldn’t know any better or different than playing with blond, fair-skinned dolls. We never saw any girls that looked like us in princess movies, books, or dolls. It’s also a huge pain and a little bit annoying trying to find a concealer/cover-up shade that exactly matches my skin color. I often find myself disappointed with the products I purchase, because they usually don’t match and are too light for my skintone. I hope in the future that as mixed race, especially black and white children become more present and widely known within society, that the media and culture industry will try show more representation for younger girls who look like me.

by CAMRYN WEDGWOOD