Ballerina in the Back of Her Throat

CONTENT WARNINGS: mentions of eating disorders and body image

When she stepped off the middle school bus after a day of stares and whispers of “fat” in the stairwell, she made herself two promises: she would love herself, and she would not eat breakfast or lunch for the rest of the week. One voice outweighed the other, and soon enough she decided to take revenge on the body that left her choking back tears in department store bathrooms and hiding inside oversized sweatshirts on warm summer days.

Didn’t she owe the world thinness? She relished the faint numbness settling into her chest after a day fueled not by food but by the satisfaction of the dropping numbers on the scale. As she poured over photos of impossibly slim ballet dancers, she grabbed at her stomach and thighs, soaking the neckline of her baggy Disney World t-shirt with tears.

Later that night, as she trembled on the bathroom floor, her fingers slipped towards the ballerina in the back of her throat. If only she could reach back far enough to finally find the slim silhouette that danced through her dreams.

by ANONYMOUS