mouth

Let me tell you a secret:

I have a mouth on the back of my head.

An actual, human mouth with lips and teeth and a tongue

a small, pink thing, always

chapped with neglect

no cavities, just yellowing teeth

waiting for rot.

She had braces too.

Hid her lisp with giggles

or silence

or screaming

you don’t need to use your tongue for either, see

she always finds a way to make noise.

We’ll sing together.

We both know she has a voice like

the sparking, or

the flooding, or

the fire.

(An unholy gospel or

an ode to older gods)

We both know she has a voice like the key against the car door or

the blaring alarm

a call or a warning,

(a rejected hymn) see

she always finds a way to make you listen.

She likes to feel pretty.

When I’m too embarrassed to try out the red lipstick I bought at the drugstore

she’ll wear it for me.

Laugh at my crayon lips and teach me how to

sunset my smiles into something deeper

teach me to hood my eyes

to hide my teeth

Teach me how to turn heads, see

she always finds a way to make you look.

Sometimes she says things for me.

Sometimes she says ‘me’ when they ask for my name

Sometimes she curses in front of children and talks back _______.

She’s the kind of girl who chews boys up and

spits them out and

doesn’t care if she misses the trash can.

That kind of girl.

A red-lipped

bubblegum bitch with all

bark and all

bite.

She’s never hungry but never full,

Thirsts for rain and sugar boys,

their frosting cheeks and candy hair

Wraps them around her finger like gum

sticky and sweet and inconvenient

But

treating her is rare, now.

I tell her it’s because she’ll get a cavity

Because my crush asked me why I had spaghetti in my hair

Because

feeding her lunch in a bathroom stall is lonely

Because

Sometimes

I like to feel pretty.

Once, for Halloween

I shaved my head.

They called me a monster.

Once,

I put my hair down.

A boy called me beautiful for the first time.


Once,

she bit down on her lips and left a scar

in a crescent moon or closed eye or

curved lips.

See,

she always finds a way to smile.


Jinhee HeoComment